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I Got A Pony When I Turned 10


Thursday, October 31, 2002

I used to think that Nicolas Cage was the most overrated actor in America. And then I remembered David Caruso.

Monday, October 28, 2002

Today Helen Jane reports that LeeAnn Rimes was spotted downing a dog in Union Square on Saturday afternoon. I would like to add to that celebrity sighting that LeeAnn was spotted later that day in Mountain View -- performing way later than she deserved -- at the Bridge School Benefit.

My concern is, why wasn't the newlywed watching and taking copious notes from the way more talented acts who preceeded her? And, even more important, why didn't she sing The Rose? Little does LeeAnn know the pain she caused Bryan, as Allyson and I, chocolate milk in hand, felt the need to review the lyrics, a capella, in the car all the way home.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

"If you ain't dirrty, you ain't here to party."

Words of wisdom from Miss Aguilera.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Wells Fargo, Satan's favorite bank, is my bank no longer. The conversation went a little something like this:

S: Hi, my name is Sarah Parsons, and my account number is XXXXXXXXXX. I just noticed on my online bank statement that I was charged $2 for a phone call. I can't remember the last time I called the bank for anything, and why is that a charge anyway?

WF: Yes m'am. Hi. How are you?

S: ....

WF: We started charging for phone calls about two months ago.

S: But I didn't call you.

WF: Can I put you on hold while I check your records?

S: Sure.

MUSICAL INTERLUDE: "And the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin' - I don't know where I'll be tomo-ho-rowow. The whee..."

WF: M'am?

S: Yes.

WF: Yes, I can't find that phone call, so I'm not going to be able to cancel that charge.

S: Um, you can't confirm the phone call was made. I say I didn't make it. Therefore, I probably made it?

WF: Yes m'am. That's right.

S: Does that make sense to you?

WF: No m'am.


The Past

The Present
Where hilarity ensues

She got married

So much conflict

Mrs. Kennedy
What exactly is the fuss?

Dangerous Candy
Don't mix with coke

Worshipping at the Altar of Mediocrity
That's one pretty kitty

The Beakdip
A commuter's log

The Lauren Tewes Fan Page
She's expecting you

The Future
This American Life
SF Gate

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